virtualmom

Mexican Immigrants want to be buried in Mexico

Don't know if anyone noticed one of the NYT front page articles two days ago about Mexican immigrants wanting to be buried back in Mexico? I realize that there was also an article about the last episode of 'The Sopranos' on the front page that eclipsed this one but since I have never seen The Sopranos, that story did not consume my interest, I was drawn to the other side. The article can be viewed at, In Return Home to Mexico Grave, An Industry Rises.Last summer we had brunch with our friends, Jim and Marisa, two NYU professors whom I love talking with. I was telling them about a book I was reading "Enrique's Journey" about a young Mexican boy's trouble making it across the border.
Marisa is from Mexico and so she is educated on the topic. I've been interested in the immigrants plight as well. Jim told me this fascinating fact that I did not know, he said that mexican immigrants aren't buried here. They all want to be laid to rest in their country, which he felt proved the point that they don't want to be American citizens. They come here to work; whereas in Mexico they may make $5/day, here there can earn $5/hour. Most come with the intention of working a couple of years, saving their money, and returning to Mexico. He was telling me that they don't come here because they admire the American lifestyle, but because they can make money here so that they can go back to their country and live well.
This article touched upon the same theory. Although there are no stats on how many illegal aliens die in the United States, there are stats on how many bodies are flown to Mexico for burials. I wonder what percentage it is.

I read the news today oh boy…

Sadness filled my body throughout the day and I felt weighted down. Went about business as usual, but my thoughts kept returning to yesterday's tragedy at Virginia Tech. The boy was a troubled soul and unfortunately he had access to weapons enabling him to kill.
The news flashed photos of the killer and I was so surprised by his looks. What did he look like? Well, young and clean cut. Asian. If I saw his picture on TV without any story attached, my first thought would be that he was a computer programmer. He didn't strike me as the type to kill 32.
L. heard about the shootings yesterday at hebrew school and S,L, and I talked about it a little at dinner tonight. "Why would anyone kill 32 people?" S asked. Hard to explain to her when I don't know why. "He was very troubled and needed help" I responded and added that this doesn't happen often, hoping to assure them that they are living in a safe world.

Feeling a little down…

Just got home from entertaining the kids all day and I am exhausted and frustrated. I'm feeling a like a failure. Or a jerk. I need some help.
Here is what I did with the kids today. I planned ahead to wake up and go to the TKTS booth in Time Square. It being Wednesday, matinee day, I figured that I would get tickets to Hair Spray at half price for the 3 of us. The kids are on vacation and since we did not go away, we are 'vacationing' at home and doing some touristy things. I made it up to the booth at 10(when it opens) and to my surprise, the line wrapped around and around for about 3 city blocks. I hopped on the subway back downtown. Luckily when I got home, another mom had left a message asking us if we wanted to play tennis for 2 hours in the afternoon. She had reserved court time indoors for cheap. GREAT!
We went, hit the ball, had a good time. Then I took the kids to L.'s private pitching lessons. Another activity that I schlep to and pay for -not for me, but for L. My daughter then asked since we were close to Time Square, can we go to the M& M's store. Sure, why not. On the way walking over, S. sees some T-shirts of the wrestling character that L. loves. "Let's get that T-shirt for L" $25.00 dollars later, we end up at the M&M's store. "Since we got L. something, can I get something here?" I was really acting like a tourist, buying all this stuff. We leave the store and walk a long way to the subway. L. is cursing me out. He is in a terrible mood. Why? Was the day so bad? When he gets in a mood, we all suffer.
So here I am thinking, I spent all day with the kids, I am trying to make everyone happy, tennis, baseball, shirts, and candy and all my kids do is curse. No smiles on their faces, no thanks (actually S. did thank me). We get home after 7 and they start fighting. He is really in a foul mood and makes her cry. She gets angry and breaks her brand new M&M's gumball machine(by accident by screwing the top in too much)! Seriously, $50's worth of machine and m&m's gone in a flash! I spent about $200 today trying to please them -unsuccessfully.
This is where I need help. I know that money doesn't buy happiness, I just wish L. was happier. I can't stand the gloom and I don't know how to parent to it. How do you handle a perpetually down child?
I can't seem to make him happy and I can't bear to think about his future with his terrible attitude! I need help!

Feeling a little down…

Just got home from entertaining the kids all day and I am exhausted and frustrated. I'm feeling a like a failure. Or a jerk. I need some help.
Here is what I did with the kids today. I planned ahead to wake up and go to the TKTS booth in Time Square. It being Wednesday, matinee day, I figured that I would get tickets to Hair Spray at half price for the 3 of us. The kids are on vacation and since we did not go away, we are 'vacationing' at home and doing some touristy things. I made it up to the booth at 10(when it opens) and to my surprise, the line wrapped around and around for about 3 city blocks. I hopped on the subway back downtown. Luckily when I got home, another mom had left a message asking us if we wanted to play tennis for 2 hours in the afternoon. She had reserved court time indoors for cheap. GREAT!
We went, hit the ball, had a good time. Then I took the kids to L.'s private pitching lessons. Another activity that I schlep to and pay for -not for me, but for L. My daughter then asked since we were close to Time Square, can we go to the M& M's store. Sure, why not. On the way walking over, S. sees some T-shirts of the wrestling character that L. loves. "Let's get that T-shirt for L" $25.00 dollars later, we end up at the M&M's store. "Since we got L. something, can I get something here?" I was really acting like a tourist, buying all this stuff. We leave the store and walk a long way to the subway. L. is cursing me out. He is in a terrible mood. Why? Was the day so bad? When he gets in a mood, we all suffer.
So here I am thinking, I spent all day with the kids, I am trying to make everyone happy, tennis, baseball, shirts, and candy and all my kids do is curse. No smiles on their faces, no thanks (actually S. did thank me). We get home after 7 and they start fighting. He is really in a foul mood and makes her cry. She gets angry and breaks her brand new M&M's gumball machine(by accident by screwing the top in too much)! Seriously, $50's worth of machine and m&m's gone in a flash! I spent about $200 today trying to please them -unsuccessfully.
This is where I need help. I know that money doesn't buy happiness, I just wish L. was happier. I can't stand the gloom and I don't know how to parent to it. How do you handle a perpetually down child?
I can't seem to make him happy and I can't bear to think about his future with his terrible attitude! I need help!

Pedophile amongst the Little League Dads!

Little League is about to begin (first game is next weekend!) so I want to open up this debate to my blog readers.
A few years back our friend's son was involved in a very strange situation involving another dad. These friends needed to tell someone and they opened up to my husband and I. For reasons we all can understand, the parents wanted the information to remain confidential. They did not want their son to be affected any further in any way. In fact, they really wanted to forget what happened. Here is an alarming truth: pedophiles are almost always someone the boy knows; a neighbor, a friend of their parents, a coach, or a teacher. 3 out of 4 boys are affected in some way or another. The rate is higher in low income areas where there is a less educated population, BUT it does still happen everywhere. Even here!
Initially I was shocked and sickened because I know this dad. He travels in my broader circle of acquaintences, not my inner circle, but close enough. A lot of people I know also know him and I felt like telling the world to look out for him. Then I remembered I can't say anything because there is a kid involved.
i spoke to my therapist about this. This secret is a heavy one to have to carry around. If i were free to share this, I would have him kicked out of every sports league that he volunteers in. BUT the information is not mine to do as I please with.
I am curious. What would you do if you had insider information that a volunteer coach in your little league was involved in inappropriate activities? Thanks for sharing, I really want the feedback. To be continued....

Caught Cheating on 4th Grade ELA/Math Tests

Since my kids read this blog, I can't really get in to the specifics as much as I would like to. What I can reveal is that it was told to me that certain public schools in bad areas of town, have access to the high stakes tests before the tests are administered. Certain teachers in those schools tutor kids in our school and give them a little advance help, similar to what they give the students in their schools. This is New York City-the town with it's own set of ethics. It is man for man here where you need to make your own path toward success, be it the legal path or not. TO be continued....